You are from Baltimore if you think being called "hon" by waitresses, cashiers, bank tellers, and     complete strangers is perfectly normal. 

You watched local TV shows: Duckpins for Dollars, The Collegians, Pinbusters, Buddy Deane Show, Romper Room, and Hutzler's Theatre. 

You also saw Stu Kerr star as Bozo the Clown and Professor Cool for the kids, then host "Dialing for Dollars" for the stay-at-home moms, and later fill-in as the weather man (complete with cloud and sun magnets) on the 6 o'clock news. (Don't forget Rhea and JP, no Doppler then)!

Your mother always knew the daily "count and the amount" on Dialing for Dollars.

You know how to pronounce Towson and Ellicott City , and always notice ads where the announcers get it wrong. 

We had milk home-delivered by Green Spring, Sealtest, and Cloverland ...... but somehow Cloverland was the only who claimed to be "the dairy with cows". Oh yeah, you can probably sing their number too (NOrth 9-2222) 

Going for a Sunday drive to get ice cream at Murrays, Sanders (The Dam Place ), or at Cloverland Dairy Farm on Dulaney Valley Rd.   If you didn't have a car, there was always a walk to the Arundel or High's.  Or you could just stay home and wait for the bells of the Good Humor Man’ 

When somebody gave their phone number prefix such as CLearwater, VAlley, IDlewood or DRexel HAmilton  you knew right where they were from. 

You've been on Sunday drives through "Droodle"   Park’, and watched the submarine races at Loch Raven or Lake Montebello. 

You remember late night "Mister Ray's Hair Weave" commercials. “Let me put that hair on your head!” 

You found yourself cheering for the guys who added "hon" to the 'Welcome to Baltimore' sign on the BW Parkway , especially after the Mayor got upset and staked-out the sign to catch them. 

You remember the nitwit who crashed the plane     into the upper deck of Memorial Stadium. 

You remember when now trendy Canton was a true blue-collar neighborhood of small factories, a can company, waterfront oyster and vegetable packing houses, seed companies, tug boat piers, filthy harbor water, and a few greasy-spoon restaurants.  In the early 70s the neighborhood had about eight square blocks of its homes demolished to make way for an interstate to connect 95 and 83. The interstate never happened, but there are ramps for it on I-95 to this day. 

You love to see the Domino Sugar    sign reflecting across the harbor.  You'll always remember a cheer-leading fan Wild Bill Hagy     in Section 34, from the       70-'s. 

You remember when Towson U. was Towson State Teachers College in Towson , 4 Maryland . 

All the big downtown theaters were as cool as the Senator is now. 

You remember when the Baltimore Civic Center  was home to The Baltimore Bullets, The Baltimore Blast, The Baltimore Clippers, rock concerts, car shows, horse shows, civil-service exams, circuses, ice shows, and graduations. (I do – I used to manage the place.) 

You remember the wonderful spicy cinnamon smell of McCormick's on Light Street. 

You've marveled as the three-wheeled motor cops shifted both sides of 33^rd Street to the "one-way" pattern to get all the traffic in and out of Orioles and Colts games in record time / every time.  Try that one on Pratt St ! 

You remember cutting school to go to the Flower Mart and Opening Day or THS. 

You remember Greenmount Cemetery as a place you could actually visit, or drive past, without taking your life in your hands. 

You know where ' Downey Ocean ' is, and remember where the "Irish House" was. 

You remember the old rivalries of Poly vs. City and Loyola vs. Calvert Hall were played out every

Thanksgiving Day at   Memorial Stadium. 

You still cheer for the Orioles even when they aren't doing well, and root for anyone playing the Yankees or Colts. There'll never be even the slightest hint of forgiveness for Bob Irsay, and Mayflower Movers might as well move themselves to Indiana for all the business I'll ever give them. 

Everybody knows what a 'zink' and 'payment' are, and just how important it is to "warsh them marble stoops." 

You yell out "O" during the   Star Spangled Banner. 

You remember urban renewal, the riots of 68, and 'burn-baby-burn'. 

And no matter where you are, you can only laugh when you see signs saying ' Maryland Crab Cakes!' 

Even during all the years of no pro football team in Baltimore , you couldn't bring yourself to be a Redskins Fan. 

You say ' Blare Road ' for Belair Road. 

You understand the inner and outer loops of the beltway, and don't understand why they need signs up to point out which is which. 

You remember Rolf Hertzgaard, Frank Luber, Royal Parker, Jim Mustard, Mike Hambrick, Ron Smith, Jerry Turner, and Al Sanders on the tube. How bout Rhea & JP and Miss Nancy? 

Sportscasters Chuck Thompson     – “Ain't the beer cold!” & Vince Bagli @ WBAL-TV – and WFBR / writer Charlie Eckman was "the" coach.   

There was Kirby Scott, Johnny Dark, Jack Edwards on WCAO, Jay Grason and Galen Fromm on WBAL ... 

Lee Case on WCBM, Mike March, Johnny Walker    (1948 – 2004) and The Flying Dutchman on WFBR, and Joe Buccheri on a variety of Classic Rock (WKTK) stations ....to name but a few. Don't forget Chop Chop Fisher & Fat Daddy on WWIN... 

You remember the strange mixture of Oprah Winfrey and Richard Sher on WJZ's morning show. 

You were confused for a few years after they swapped one-way directions on Lombard and Pratt Streets. 

You've been to a prom at the "Alcazar", and probably danced to the Admirals. 

You refer to Catonsville Community College as UCLA ( University of Catonsville Left of Arbutus).

You remember Mayor Schaefer swimming   with the seals at the National Aquarium, after losing a bet -- and whining about it for years afterward. 

You marvel at all the city bumper stickers; Baltimore 's Best / Baltimore is Best, Charm City , The City That Reads, and Believe! 

You remember Marty Bass   with hair, and a leisure suit, trying to explain his way out of soliciting an undercover cop. (" I was just trying to get into her head") 

You know when to stay off the JFX. 

The Great Dantini  (by Leonard Bahr – ’74)    who used to perform and hang at the Peabody Book Stube.    

You miss the RCA  dog … ‘Nipper’.                                                          There was the ladies room and then the  'IRSAY'  room at Johnny Unitas Golden Arm -  

You swore Frank Perdue kinda looked like one of his tender chickens. 

The new candelabra TV tower on television hill was the tallest thing on the planet .... at the time. 

You know which bridge they're talking about when someone says, 'The bridge traffic is backed up.' 

You actually admire someone named "Boog" 

You remember the Gwynn Oak  , Carlin's, and Bay Shore Amusement Parks .. 

You know where to park for the Preakness. 

The cheapest guy in town had an ideal location to watch fireworks. 

You loved to hear Arty Donovan explain anything.   Taking TV tubes to Read’s to be tested.   Friendship rings for a buck at Read's (always carried an extra in my wallet). 

Sundays after church and family dinner were ALWAYS centered around the Colt Game. 

Taking the NO. 10 from Towson to Howard Street - and then downtown – ‘on our own' - it was Heaven ...  & taking the number 8 to Towson.

You got a parking ticket (or towed away) while in court for a parking ticket in the old traffic court at 211 E Madison St .

You don't think that Assawoman Bay       is a strange name. 

They SAY: bullets, Sheppard-Pratt, police, Germany, Italy, Europe, Bel Air, hundred, alley, good one(as in:"Have a good one!"), Druid Hill and the Orioles.  BUT YOU HEAR: 

   ... bu-wits, Sha-pert Prat, pu-weis, Germ-nee, It-lee, Yurpe, Blair, hunnert, al-wee, and goo-win, droodle and oreos - in Balmerese. 

The Hunt Cup - there's a race there, too? 

And, the Bromo Seltzer Tower -    

CARS 

My first car – a 1960 Mercury TURNPIKE CRUISER CONVERTIBLE ...

 W O W !!!     Mine was white with red, black and silver rolled and pleated leather.  What a pimped-out ride … and what a feeling of independence! 

Billy Friend’s ’57 Chevy convertible   – in 'bright candy apple Blue' and white – it was awesome!  see http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHSXTXAmP5E  Danny Merritt’s VW bug … 

Jerry’s ‘killer’ Chevelle  SS 396    in blue. 

There were GTO’s ('GOT’s), 442’s, 64 Volvo’s, TR3’s, Healy’s,  Rick’s P.'s stunning XKE, and  

  Tommy’s ‘bug-eye’ Sprite and Monte’s  red ‘53 Chevy pick-up … 

You could only buy a Volvo from Michaelson Motors on Reisterstown Rd , ‘the best place to become a Chevrolet ownah was at York and Bellona’, Johnnys on Harford Rd was the "Walking Mans Friend", Granny Packer was on Blair Road in Oberlee, and "Hey, Hey Fox Chevrolet" was just as annoying then as the car ads these days. Don't forget Doug Griffith's Corvettes on Harford Road. 

RESTAURANTS – FOOD  

You had the monster "Powerhouse" burger at one of the five Ameche's

Drive-ins in Baltimore  long before there was a McDonald's in sight.  And for my $2.00 - the best meal on earth was Ameche's Cheerleader ... hot ham and swiss w/mayo, tomato and lettuce on a toasted sesame bun, onion rings and Ameche's Orangeade!   You could "Meetcha at Ameche's!" at York & Timonium Rds. (our hang-out; originally The Peacock ~ remember? ~ and now Nationwide whatever car dealer - yuk!), Loch Raven & Taylor, 5800 Reisterstown Rd , 7700 Wise Ave , and Ritchie Hywy & 5th in Glen Burnie.  We would all ride around a few times to see who was at Ameche’s - and to be SURE we were seen.  Then we'd pull-up to the cement island where we were flanked by hanging menus and a speaker phone (like at the drive-in) where we placed our order. Then a waitress would bring out our orders in those red - plastic woven baskets.  What a great place. 

Martick's - Mama Cass     used to hang here. 

OTHER GREAT EATS NOW LONG GONE:  Cy Blooms "Place in the Alley", the Chesapeake, Danny Dickman's, Thompson's Sea Girt House, Connolly's, Bernie Lee's Penn Hotel, the Jade East, Leonardo's, Cal Bitner’s, The Gas Lamp, Hausner's ... and Marconi's.

Remeber 'Little Caesar’s' (... if you know this one - I'll send you a dollar!),  The Center Club, the Fossil’s Club, and a million more ... (The Maryland Club – only kidding!), Jimmy Wu's –     The Palmer House    a fun place w/OK food.   

the Prime Rib   … THE BEST FOOD ANYWHERE - wow! … and my all-time favorite:Marconi's    (oh, the Imperial Crab, Lobster Cardinale and the made-at-your-table hot fudge for your sundae.)  

Palm’s Pizza and subs and Smetana's.  The Peacock (Inn) which later became AMECHE’s DRIVE-IN and is now Nationwide Nissan.  And, of course - our favorite -

the Little Tavern    ... 15 cents for a tiny hamburger – a dollar for a bag of 6 – and everybody could eat 6! 

Vanilla phosphates and French fries with gravy at Read's Ridgely and Towson.  Kreske's counter - all good and nothing over a dollar - and those pointy paper cups in the shiny metal holders. 

You can remember Connolly's Restaurant on Pier 5 was the last survivor of the old Pratt St. waterfront. 

  You remember when Baltimore rated a "Playboy Club" – it was at 28 Light Street – you needed your ‘key’ to get in – then had a great time … great food & drinks.

You saw the governor (and other dignitaries) standing in line, in the rain, outside of Hausner’s, because they never took reservations. 

Deciding between Knox's Ice Cream Parlor, the Arundel or Murray's Ice Cream Parlor across the street - both at Loch Raven and Taylor. 

  Peppermint sticks in a lemon.   

Eating at Pollack Johnnie's, the Lexington Market  , Attman's, Bel-Loc Diner, Ciminos, Little Tavern (buy'em by the bag!), White Castle , AJ's Dog House, Horn & Horn, Horn & Hardart, White Coffe Pot, Jr., Oriole Cafeteria, White Coffee Pot, Hot Shoppes, Ameche's, Gino's, Read's, Hooper's, Silber's Bakery . . . 

You've remember special corned beef and pastrami runs to Stone's Bakery, Jack's Corned Beef, Weiss Deli, and Attman's Deli on Lombard St,  right in the heart of the high-rise projects.

The BEST Hot school lunch was at Dulaney; meat loaf, parsley potatoes, veg., peanut butter fudge, Dulaney cake (yellow w/chocolate frosting), ice cream sandwiches - all for 35 cents including milk (2 cents)   

The very cool O-E (Theta Epsilon) girls selling Mary Sue (or Log Cabin)   Easter Eggs.

STORES 

The Oxford Shop while still on Greenmount, The Canterbury Shoppe, Frank Leonard's, Young's, Barry's, the Sample Store, the TIE-RACK in that little white brick house in Towson on Chesapeake Ave.,

Eddie Jacob's   and Hamburger’s. 

The two Talking Christmas Reindeer     at Hutzlers Towson.  I can still see the salesmen guarding the Men's Department and the ladies in the Candy dept. and the winding staircase and Tea Room.  And, the windows at Christmas with their intricate moving displays at Hutzler's Castle downtown on Howard Street. 

Set’s Sports Shop - what a great store ...  still in business ... what a wierd old guy. 

BaltimoreShopping Plate  - later known as "NAC" charge cards for Hutzler's, Hecht's, Hochschild-Kohn's and Stewart’s (no problem if you forgot it - the clerk would just call your Mom at home.) 

Music stores: Ted's,    Fred Walkers, Hammond's (under the stairs at Towson Plaza), Bill's Music House ... 

READ Street: the Bum Steer, Hell Bent for Leather – the Bead Experience  - The Shear Experience . 

You and your Mom shopped at Braeger-Gutman's, Hutzler's, Stewart's, Hochschild Kohn, Robert Hall, The May Company, Hecht's, Peck & Peck, Hamburgers, Epstein's, Woolworth's, SS Kresge, McCrory's, Ben Franklin, Dacks 5 &10, EJ Korvettes, Lusins, Two Guys, Cooks, Kaldor, and of course . . . Shocketts on Broadway. 

In those days ...... Sears was still called Sears, Roebuck, and Company..... and lived at Harford and North.  Montgomery Ward was was at located at Monroe and Washington Blvd.  Both stores carried their own brand of lawn mowers, guitars and amps (Silvertone & Airline), tools, guns, motorcycles, clothes, shoes, tires, and appliances.  A Sears Revolving Credit Card was tough to get, though! 

CLOTHES - blanket jackets, green and white reversible parkas with rabbit fur around the hood from Sunny's 

Surplus.  Flag jackets, stadium coats,   Cox Moore sweaters, real bleeding Indian madras shorts and shirts.  The prep uniform ... pressed and cuffed khaki's, a blue oxford button-down with a cloth emblem belt w/crossed LAX-stick logo from the OXFORD SHOPPE and WeeJuns w/no socks ... year-round!     

Jack Purcell’s (JP's)   , and Scotch grain wingtips – now that was style.  And of course ...

Bass WeeJuns.  

MUSIC 

You remember seeing the Four Seasons, George Carlin, Tony Bennett and many others perform at Painters Mill or at Club Venus.    You saw the Beatles, The Beach Boys, Dave Clark Five, The Rolling Stones,  The Monkees , Sonny & Cher and Peter, Paul & Mary at the Civic Center  .  You saw Emerson, Lake , and Palmer at the Lyric. You saw Otis Reading, the Four Tops, and the Temptations at Calvert Hall.  And you didn't save a single program! 

Or dance at the Club Venus, Hollywood Park, Teen Center, CYO or the Epiphany.  The Read Street Festival in 1968 w/10 bands and 10,000 kids. 

Steelworkers Hall  , the Alcazar and Idelwylde Hall, Dixie Ballroom, Club Venus and Matuski’s @Riviera Beach all held the biggest dances. 

And for those of us who were teens, still ... there

           was the    Bluesette Teen Discoteque @ 2439 N. Charles - the proprietors; our hero's Art and Sharon Peyton ... loved that place and time.  My band JAY DEE AND THE CHASERS was the first house band @ the Bluesette.  It was the best of times!

We rushed home – 5 days a week – to see Buddy Deane and the ‘Committee’ – and all his lip-synching guests.  (I don’t think he liked kids very much.)  Take a look:  http://jakefogelnest.com/post/832382813

HamptonTeen Center … was run by Skip Carey – what a jerk.  Lee Case w/WCBM was another winner!  One night Lee Case was at Hampton TC - unknowingly he put on 'Life's Too Short' by the Lafayettes ... and we all started dancing the ‘Bodie Green’, a fairly provocative dance for that era.  He stopped the record which he was playing on a Webcor 45 rpm mono portable player.  He went to the mic and said the dance was "lewd and disgraceful” as we were ... and threatened to call each and every one of our parents!  What a buzz kill!  Listen to "LIFE'sTOO SHORT" ... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2u9cTfLKWQ&feature=related

The Dixie Ballroom at Gwynn Oak Amusement Park   and  (the 'Carousel' and the 'SnowBall' and an Easter dance (?) - great 'dress-up' dances for older teens and 20 something's). 

Eudowood on Sundays - Ronny Dove and others -- then one Sunday - surprise! -- The Yardbirds and the Barbarians --- for $3. 

The Admirals  …  - circa 1964-65. 1st Row: Bill Kalkman-Guitar, Wilber McClain-Vocals, Jay Stermer-Mighty Wurlitzer, Eddie Tajkowski (SP?)-Drums, Ron Creamer-Trumpet, Butch Williamson-Trumpet; 2nd Row: Bernie Robier-Trombone, Tom Berry-Bass, Chuck Klapka-Sax.  They were a great ‘review’ band with lots of different skits – the most famous … “And then along came Jones” – and don’t forget ‘Denny – and the Hitch Hikers’ … a great horn band.  TRY THIS:  http://www.baltimorejam.org/Admirals/admirals.html 

My favorite band, of course was  – ‘Jay Dee and the Chasers' – so handsome and talented!                                                                           

Then there were The Van Dykes and the Then there were the Lafayette's - "Life's too short "  (... "… you know about MA - she's really tough" -- and she's about 70, 4 1/2 feet tall and still a waitress at Souris' in Towson – sweetest gal you’ve ever met!), the SPECTRES and the

MAJESTICS  .  Johnny Dark and Kirby Scott at the Owings Mill’s Fire House presented 100’s of local bands – including mine!

The Yardbirds   and the Barbarians at Eudowood.   (Breck and I were there ... it was $3 that day!)  Wilson Pickett performed at Immaculate Heart, too! and the Four Tops and the Temptations @ RAZZMATAZZ (thanks, Jer) - now Patrick’s'  run by a Calvert Hall kid. 

Dances at The Famous Ballroom after a dinner date downstairs at the Chesapeake House.

"Fat Daddy" (“Good cooga-luga-mooga”.) and "Rockin' Robin" on WEBB, Johnny Dark on CAO (not WEAM) , Barry Richards (Geater with the heater, boss with the hot sauce on WDON, WUST, WHFC, etc.) Hound Dog 

Tommy Vann – and the Echoes   -   “Pretty Flamingo”????  What the hell – “TOO YOUNG!” was the hit.  REMEMBER - 'they tried to tell us we're too young ..." LISTEN HERE! 

SLOGANS - JINGLES - ADS 

"Baltimore Federal Savings and Loan -- "on the Colonial Corner where St. Paul Street and Fayette meet -- you'll find high, high dividends there!" 

"Mary Sue Easter Eggs, Mary Sue Easter Eggs - people are making the switch - 'cause using pure butter makes Mary Sue better -- and you never had it so rich!" 

“meetcha at Ameche’s,” – “everybody goes to Gino’s” 

You can sing the phone number for Hampden Moving and Storage.  (Belmont 5-0600) 

You remember Royal Parker yelling at kids jumping on furniture that was not covered in plastic .... "what're ya trying to ruin it?" 

More Parks sausages Mom, Please! 

Run right to Reads 

MAKE-OUT STOPS

 Timonium Drive-in "the Passon Pit"  ...

Carlin's Drive-in, Country Lane in Timonium , LochRaven – got engaged there. 

PARKS & STUFF 

BayRidge Park– the Bay, crabs and slot machines.  And, of course Gwynn Oak Amusement Park - located in Woodlawn, Maryland. Setting adjacent to the Gwynn Falls stream, the Park met its demise in 1972 during Hurricane Agnes. It laid abandoned for a time and was eventually leveled, leaving an open area that still exists today.

COOL PLACES  You remember taking friends, family and visitors to Loch Raven Dam   to see and feed the carp that were as big as your little brother. 

You remember swimming and family picnics at Beaver Dam and Beaver Springs Swim Clubs in Cockeysville ....... and no one knew of a place called Hunt Valley . 

Colt Lanes -  Skating at the Stadium Ice Rink.  

Sitting in ‘Black Aggie’s’     Lap

Skiing (?) at Oregon Ridge ... ‘ Visiting’  the world-famous "BLOCK" & Blaze Starr’s 2 O’clock Club  , Pam Gail’s ‘Club Oasis’ – ‘worst show in town – best time in town’, 

And, the Gayety     (where there were guys with newspapers, jugglers, bad comedians - and 'not-very-attractive' strippers),  Also, the Rex, Mort’s, Cagel’s, Ted’s Music Store, anything on Read Street , Mulberry, in Towson – or downtown. 

GREAT EVENTS

The Baltimore City Fairs from 1979 to 1987.  The later Fair's were not drawing too many folks and there was trouble brewing downtown ... so a bright adv guy thought they'd ‘pump-up’ the volume a bit by running a full-page ad in the Sun.

   It was an amusing advertisement.  Unfortunately, it included a ‘Where's Waldo?’-type cartoon showing the crowd at the fair.  However – the illustrator (a practical joker) added the scene of a couple doing it on the carousel, not thinking for a second that anyone would notice. WELL THEY DID!  That little joke by the art director forced him to resign, the agency apologized and reimbursed the fair for the ad – then they were fired.  God, it was funny though!  Pretty sure that was the LAST City Fair. 

The Turkey Bowl:  City Vs. Poly at noon & Calvert Hall Vs. Loyola at 4 @ Memorial Stadium on Thanksgiving.

Fireworks @ Memorial Stadium July 4^th.

"DOWNEYOWSHUN'

 Loving our summers in OC & hangin' under the clock at 9th St.  many of us working at the Beach. 

Hitchhiking to Ocean City, and sleeping under the boardwalk or in the basement of the George Washington Hotel ... or the most fun -- The Davis' garage on Baltimore @ 6th. 

And, of course     … BoardWalk Elvis ... now he was a real original...  

BEER 

Ahhh, Country Club   in the little white cans "It's twice as strong as beer", we used to tell everybody.  It was smooth though … and potent.  (Jerry still has a couple of actual cans – unopened.) 

REAL CLASS 

Spending the day swimming and picnicing at the Cliffs (the Rocks, the Pines) at Loch Raven Reservoir.   I fish near there now. 

Someone put this wonderful brass plaque at the base of the Cliffs'    just a foot or two off the surface of the water.  “THE ROCKS…DEDICATED TO THE SUMMER OF 1961.”  No fanfare, no headline, but it must have been the best summer of all for someone.  It is only viewable from the water, and you will note it is anonymous – now that’s class, Baltimore.

WELL, HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED REMEMBERING ... if you have some copy or pictures to add - email me at lgc252@comcast.net - thanks ... LC

NOTE:  This is a compilation of work from a wide variety of sources in the public domain.  I thank all those who contributed.  © 2009- all rights reserved - Larry Collins